Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver. -Sophocles
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I almost didn't post this b/c I HATE sounding so sappy and whinny and sad all the time... but the fact is I wrote it, so I have to post it... what can I say...this is me...
What is up with me this morning! I think it started out late last night when I heard that Mariah Carey/Boyz II Men song "One Sweet Day"... I think the part that got me was when she sang "never had I imagined, living without your smile..." Wow, it's true, I never imagined that...and it's crazy how it sometimes hits me like a ton of bricks. He had an amazing smile and the most full-bodied contagious laugh you you've ever heard. And now I can never hear it again? Not even once? I mean, it's been almost 4 months...can't I just call a time out now. "Ok, stop playin'...it's been 3 and a half months now...come out, come out where ever you are!" I don’t want to not hear his laugh EVER again. I don’t want to not hear his voice EVER again. I mean, are you kidding me?! I must seem SO crazy. I feel crazy sometimes…I mean some days I’m good, I mean really, really good. I was doing fine just yesterday, I swear I was. Now you’d think I was back in the middle of June instead of September and I’m having these “never again” revelations for the first time. That alone is Crazy to me! How can I go from 0 to 60 in just a few hours? But then again, how can I go from wife to widow in 2 weeks… and if I pull the lens back, how can the people of New Orleans go from enjoying life to being under water in a matter of hours. I guess trouble comes to us all at some point, and the strength of our character is shown in how we handle it. So...(deep breath in....and out) although my heart is very heavy this morning, I won’t complain anymore. My family is safe and healthy and I know that everyone can’t say that…I’m truly blessed. I just miss my friend.
*******
I almost didn't post this b/c I HATE sounding so sappy and whinny and sad all the time... but the fact is I wrote it, so I have to post it... what can I say...this is me...
What is up with me this morning! I think it started out late last night when I heard that Mariah Carey/Boyz II Men song "One Sweet Day"... I think the part that got me was when she sang "never had I imagined, living without your smile..." Wow, it's true, I never imagined that...and it's crazy how it sometimes hits me like a ton of bricks. He had an amazing smile and the most full-bodied contagious laugh you you've ever heard. And now I can never hear it again? Not even once? I mean, it's been almost 4 months...can't I just call a time out now. "Ok, stop playin'...it's been 3 and a half months now...come out, come out where ever you are!" I don’t want to not hear his laugh EVER again. I don’t want to not hear his voice EVER again. I mean, are you kidding me?! I must seem SO crazy. I feel crazy sometimes…I mean some days I’m good, I mean really, really good. I was doing fine just yesterday, I swear I was. Now you’d think I was back in the middle of June instead of September and I’m having these “never again” revelations for the first time. That alone is Crazy to me! How can I go from 0 to 60 in just a few hours? But then again, how can I go from wife to widow in 2 weeks… and if I pull the lens back, how can the people of New Orleans go from enjoying life to being under water in a matter of hours. I guess trouble comes to us all at some point, and the strength of our character is shown in how we handle it. So...(deep breath in....and out) although my heart is very heavy this morning, I won’t complain anymore. My family is safe and healthy and I know that everyone can’t say that…I’m truly blessed. I just miss my friend.
posted by Jillian at 10:19 AM
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